My hand turned me down
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
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Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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