physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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