I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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