I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
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You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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