I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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