We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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