We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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