Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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