we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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