Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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