so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize