dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ugly people sure do ruin things
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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