We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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