PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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