Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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