I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
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I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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