so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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