You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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