i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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