grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize