HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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