I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize