Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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