Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
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I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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