don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize