..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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