rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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