i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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