So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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