I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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