if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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