That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize