two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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