all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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