i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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