This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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