Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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