I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I need to stop coming to work sober
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize