The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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