We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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