I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize