I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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