No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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