Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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