if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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