I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize