i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize