One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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