Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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