I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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